The last couple of weeks have been exhausting and alcohol fueled (why do so many people have birthdays now??), and I have broken a toe and bruised more parts of myself than I care to mention, not to mention working 18 odd hours over the last 24. But nothing, /nothing/ can compare to today, where my mother bought me a years worth of toothpaste and shampoo and put petrol in my new car, and then I watched her attempt to play guitar hero on the Wii for the first time, while I attempted to play the drums having never ever played it before (and getting up to medium difficulty having never played it before made me happy like whoa, although, Pat Bennetar, why for are your songs so hard?).

But yes, watching my sixty one year old mother attempting to rock the fuck out to Linkin Park has made my YEAR.

(along with receiving a certain package, which I will not mention for fear of having the piss taken *grin*)

I've just written the following sentence:

"For broadleaved new planting figures, England shows a total decline of 0.4 from 2003-2007, where-as Scotland, Wales and NI all show rises (0.9, 0.1 and 0.4 respectively)."

And now I would like to weep for being so boring.

This morning I was all 'My slipper feels funny', and upon removing it I discovered ten pence. Then the other one felt uncomfortable and I took that one off and found another five. What the fuck?

I'm toying with the idea of joining twitter, but I'm just not sure. I've always been oddly uncomfortable with the idea (much like I was about Facebook, which I still hate and use as rarely as possible) but...the idea of filling up cyber-space with as many bite-sized pearls of nonsense wisdom as I could manage is oddly appealing.

Last FM is awesome. It's like having the worlds most random radio station but you've programmed all the music it can play, so no matter what comes up you're going to like it. <3. Is it sad that I get excited between songs because I'm all 'Okay, we've just had RatM followed by Dolly Parton...what's next?! The Flobots? The Fray? Jimi Hendrix? LL Cool J? Isn't this exciting!' (yes, I am that easily amused). The last seven songs have been Machine Head, Dixie Chicks, Foo Fighters, Pendulum, Katie Melua, Enigma and John Lee Hooker. <3 <3.

I still have an essay to write on the ecological ramifications on deforestation in a market economy. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. And incidentally, yes, I am still seeing whether it's possible to bull-shit your way to a degree via much procrastination and a lot of alcohol.

I am getting a little worried, I have to admit. It's like brain just latches on to ANYTHING to keep me amused through-out my work day. Case in point:



What is that? I hear you ask. That was me making a 'knight saves the princess from the evil dragon' scene...from dirty blu-tak that I found stuck under one of the tills. And that took me two hours, in between serving customers and re-stocking cigarettes and alcohol. (You know who the big boy alcoholics are when they come in at 7:20am, grab four cans of Stella and chuck a handful of change at you). This actually wasn't the first thing I made from the blu-tak. Nope, that was 'zombie giant chases hapless villagers'. Yes, I know I'm weird. My brain has nothing to do, okay? It was either this or drool.

Then my brain decided, on the second or third time the backing music from Aisha Tyler's rap video started playing in my head (once something gets in there, it tends to get stuck for a while), my brain started supplying me with my own lyrics. This meant that after a couple of hours, I'd formulated a response to her song, tentively entitled 'Aisha Tyler: you have no ass, I have too much ass, maybe we can make some sort of ass trade deal'. ("Now please take a seat cos I'm gonna tell you/how I'm a grown white woman with enough ass for two" although my favourite bit was almost definitely "I can't afford an X-box, I don't like pickled beets/and the last time I was dipped in sauce I had to dry clean my sheets" or "Oh, I got it I don't want it, too much ass for me/And if you want you can have it, it's yours for free"). God I wish I had enough money to make fake rap videos. I totally would. Although I don't have that streak of insane self-confidence that most comedians have - I spend a lot of time thinking up random shit that makes me laugh, but if it came right down to it I'd probably hedge my bets and say all that stuff is not so much amusing as just weird for other people. I just don't know.

So, on Monday, I watched some Olivia/Natalia clips. On Tuesday I...watched some more Olivia/Natalia clips.

( Read more... )

My brain. Oh, my brain.

You know how much I like Doctor Who?

And you know how I'm re-watching the X-Files at the moment?

Imagine how much of a geekgasm I had when I read that Gillian Anderson might appear on Doctor Who.

Oh, my brain.

Last night, I wrote the best post ever...and then I closed the window before I could post it, because I am quite literally the dumbest smart person I know.

I know I haven't been keeping up with LJ lately: I will catch up tomorrow.

Anyway, after watching the clips of Olivia/Natalia from yesterday:



I have only one thing to say: I want to go to there.

I need your help.

I've had an idea for a website. Oddly, this is not one of my flash-in-the-pan, forget about it tomorrow type ideas. I actually think this idea might be...workable. I'm not sure if it's good, but it's certainly interesting.

So, question: for those of you who have bought domain names, who did you buy through? Were they any good? Are there any people who you would recommend I steer clear of? What catches and pit-falls should I look out for? The site I'm thinking of would be quite heavy going in terms of it would need to host video features, comment thingies and all sorts of crap (you can tell I've thought this out, can't you?) - and I understand nothing, nothing, about the internet.

A quick google search provides me with a million options for buying a domain name. Going to one of the sites and searching there tells me that the name I want is actually registered already. Typing all variations of the name I want (com, co.uk, org, net) into my browser tells me that even if they are registered, no-one really seems to be doing much with them.

And...crap. I've run out of time and have to go to work. Crap crap crap. Well, if anyone can help, that'd be greatly appreciated.

Dear self,

Please, please stop glancing at the 'Cillit Bang' cleaning products when you walk past them at work and having to do a double-take because you read 'Clit Bang' every. single. time. And then please stop giggling and going "Clit bang! Ha!" to yourself. You child.

Love,
Me.

Okay, so it's not Sunday. It's not even the end of the week. I don't care. I was feeling the need to share.

( Laughter ahoy )